How The Pain Builds Up A Character
by Jojaylyn Vera
If you need motivational tools you can buy them here.
The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our Character. And our character is determined by our relationship to our Pain. The opportunities to grow from pain are constant in life. But what is your pain at the moment? Don’t get me wrong, I perceived life as beautiful and pain is as well beautiful. We just need to see and appreciate what’s on it.
These are the Three Things that Pain Builds Up A Character
- Awareness — We humans are social beings. We love to seat and sip a coffee with our loved ones and talk about anything around us. How’s someone’s day going on, any updates to someone, events, celebration, etc. That we tend to forget it is also a necessity to communicate with own ourselves. Normalize having a date to ourselves, a quality time. Dress up, put it in your calendar, and have this same excitement to know and discover more about YOU just like when you are about to have a date with someone that you want to know more about this person. You can make as well a journal and identify those thoughts that are suppressed. Have a weekly walk or anything that could help you boost to focus more on YOU. As Johari Window Model of Personality states, there are common windows with Four Panes. First Pane is the Open Arena — Known to Self and Known to Others, Second Pane is the Blind Spot- Unknown to Self, Known to Others. The Third is the Facade- Known to Self, Unknown to others. The Fourth One is the Unknown- Unknown to Self- Unknown to others. There are so many things we don’t know yet about ourselves and that pain reminds us, it’s a bit uncomfortable but the pain is a guide.
- Befriending Pain — A person cannot be whole without his own shadow. But it’s not given priority as Front is always in the spot. To be comfortable with pain is not easy, we cannot resist it or run away from it. The more we neglect, the more it becomes damaged. Why not befriend it instead? There’s one study in Social Psychology that conflicted with Darwin’s Theory about Survival of the Fittest. Darwin’s theory states that one has to be innately the strongest in order to survive. However, there was a Chimpanzee experiment, those who are their friends, they don’t attack. They attacked the distal chimps, the unknown. So next time when pain revisits, we could welcome it not as a foreigner but a question of “what can I do for you, my friend?”
If you need motivational tools you can buy them here.
- Sublimate Pain as Opportunity — You cannot hear a great person with an easy path in life. Most successful people have great stories they conquered. Walt Disney, Abraham Lincoln, Oprah, JK Rowlings, Harland Sanders, Stephen Hawking, Thomas Edison, etc. They all have different paths and different contributions but one thing they’re in common, they Didn’t Give Up. They sublimate pain as the opportunity to build a foundation in their character with regard to the given situation.
Maybe next time we can normalize the thought when we are in a painful situation. When we see things that aren’t going well and that life is beating us so hard, maybe that time, we can develop a mind shift by asking ourselves, “What it is that life is teaching me now?”
If you need motivational tools you can buy them here.
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